There must be something in my face, because I've now had my fortune told three times in three weeks, all unprovoked and all in different ways.
In Singapore a whiskery botanist grabbed my palm, after showing me some specimens of lemongrass and kaffir lime, and told me that I had had 'romantic problems' last year and was very sad. Apparently I have a wounded look about my face. He went on to tell me that I am now in a process of change and decision making that will lead me down the correct path. Alright then.
In Kualar Lumpur a fat Indian man with gold teeth, bought me a bag of hairy rambutan as I was perusing the Chinese market. He told me that I have problems feeling sexually satisfied, that I change my mind a lot, and willed me to 'experiment' with as many different men as possible. This apparently was divined by way of numerology. Given the prying and seedy nature of his conversation I figured he was trying to come onto me, so I quickly jumped on the LRT and sped off to the airport as quickly as possible to wait there for four hours for my flight to arrive and my skin to stop crawling.
In Ubud, Bali I was woken by the sounds of gongs, cowbells, roosters crowing, birds, dogs barking and people speaking in neighboring houses. I floated out of the delirium of sleep and ended up in the Dewa Warung to eat some Tempeh. A local man with long hair and a tattoo of a tiger was sitting in the corner chain smoking.
"Hey you! Strange girl! Where you are from?"
After a brief conversation about reiki and reflexology (my knowledge on these subjects courtesy of mum) 'Beki' boasted that he could tell my fortune just by looking at me. I said "go on then".
As a psycological exercise he made me draw five objects on a page; a snake, a chicken, a bridge, a house and a tree.
I'm not going to go into the details but he told me that; I love my job (Rimli and Saffron - if you're reading this I know you'll be laughing), that I don't care about my boyfriend and he has curly hair (sorry Pete - you're out), that my money is very up and down (these days I'm pretty sure it's mostly down) and that I don't live with my family.
He then demanded $500 from me, which I refused on the basis that his analysis was a load of shit.
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